Voice Actor Needed

I'm working on a short video and I need a male voice actor to act as the narrator. He can be from anywhere, but needs to be able to speak an American accent and have decent recording abilities. The voice I am looking for needs to be similar to the narrator in this:





or this:




To audition, you must record yourself saying the following:


"When the day's toil is over, are you the type of person who drags his weary body home, slumps into a chair feeling beat or pushed and listless? If so, you need a hobby! Picture! That's it! Photography! For the beginner, a few minor bits of equipment are necessary. With these few inexpensive items, the ardent amateur photographer is ready to pursue his hobby."


And then upload it somewhere (youtube is fine- but make sure it's voice only. I don't wanna look at you!) and then email the link to me at tacosofdoom (at) gmail (dot) com. Make sure the subject says "Voice actor" because I'll ignore it if it doesn't.


Also, if you're wondering, it is NOT an instructional video.

Don't get mad. Get even.

It's been awhile. I haven't had any shows, but I've been working hard on things unrelated to performing. However, I've also been working on new talents- such as juggling and hooping. I was not interested in either at first, but I have ideas... and ideas make the world go 'round, apparently. In a fit of insomnia, I decided to remodel the blog and make it look nicer.

You might be asking yourself, "What does 'maggots and marvels' mean?" I'll tell you. It means absolutely nothing. I just love alliteration. Maggots and marvels seemed like a really good combination of words, too.

For lack of anything new to say or show, here's something old.



I'll have something new soon. I promise. >:D

A simple request: Please nominate me!

Please nominate me to be MTV's first TwitterJockey! Just follow this link: http://tj.mtv.com/open-nomination/ and nominate @cinestress.

Follow me on Twitter, too.

Thank you! I love you!

Off-Tour Butt Glue

I've been off-tour for about two weeks now. Our last show in Dallas, Texas was canceled because of promoter reasons. I'm happy to be off the road for the time being. I'm getting a lot of time to think and do other things that I enjoy that is not possible while on the road. For example, I can finally play World of Warcraft again. In all of the hotels we stayed, the internet was too flaky for game play (and sometimes even just regular browsing).

We did a birthday party show for The Reverend Tommy Gunn's son, which was a lot of fun. I think everyone really enjoyed themselves.

"The Amazing Chris" really needs a new name. We are open to suggestions.

In other news, he built himself a throwing board so he can practice knife-throwing (without me). He also gave me a shiny black and white diamond engagement ring...

So... you know. We're getting married.

As for me, I've been doing a lot of sitting around. Mostly writing and doing other non-show related things. I should really get back on hooping practice, stretching, and juggling... but it seems that my butt is glued to various pieces of furniture.

Demolition Derby Freaks!

Tonight was the second to last night at the Razorback Fair (or is it Ozark Mountain Fair?) in Fayetteville, Arkansas. There was a demolition derby and it brought in our largest crowd yet. It was actually my first time witnessing a demolition derby and I must say it was incredible. The car that I was rooting for (number 42) really held his own and I was convinced that he would win, but after all of his tires blew, he was kind of screwed. One wheel was completely sideways.

We got to do a pre-show for the derby, which was pretty rockin'. It was probably the most responsive crowd we'd had this whole tour (even though most of them were just checking me out).

We did our last show at 10:30 for a huge crowd that loved it. A lot of people came up for stapling (not just little kids this time!) and I proved to be the more popular one as I had several groups of people ask to take pictures with me.

I've been having a great time being on the road and going from fair to fair and I think as soon as I go back "home" (wherever that is, considering I'm practically homeless right now), I'm not going to have a clue what to do with myself. I have a lot of personal work to do, which will be great to accomplish... but I am going to miss this.

Tomorrow is the last day of the fair and then we are off to Dallas, Texas for a huge one day show at the Lakewood Theater. If you're in the area, go there!

Serendipitous Sack Stapling

I'll get to the reason behind the title in a minute.

The four of us have become three, as Miss Malice Aforethought left us to go play around in San Francisco with her son and some FSD cast members that are getting married. We are now in Fayetteville, Arkansas for the Razorback Fair.

EVERYTHING here is a Razorback something or other... and the people here go nuts for the pig races at the fair.

For me, though, it's all about the Banana Derby (seriously, what's better than Capuchin monkeys riding dogs- who are, in fact, all rescues from shelters?).


The fair was supposed to open on Friday, but it was put off until Saturday because the rides began sinking where they were originally placed. Everything had to be moved over night... The carnies really had to bust their balls to get the rides up. Thanks to all of their hard work, the fair opened at noon on Saturday.

The crowds here have been great. Some are brighter than others, but all have been enthusiastic. There are shows every hour at the fairgrounds and there is always something to do and see. If you're nearby, you should check the Razorback Fair out.

Between shows, we have been practicing throwing knives. I improved greatly today. I finally stuck all six knives in the wood- and in the spots where I had been aiming. Maybe soon I will have a new skill to add to my list! I'm also trying for hooping and juggling, but I have a bad habit of dropping hoops and balls.

Anyway, tonight was a bit more interesting than normal. After our third, and final, show of the evening, the owner's spawn came out for some tip stapling. Naturally, they seemed to want to see what else they could staple. About twenty minutes after the show, they came back with $100 and The Reverend Tommy Gunn got to staple his junk... A first for him.

For those of you that are curious, he seems to be in excellent condition and I believe he is out drinking with a bunch of fair workers at some silly country bar. The Amazing Chris and I would have gone, but a bar with country music doesn't really sound appealing since neither of us drink. Nor do we like country music.

If The Reverend Tommy Gunn somehow does not end up coming back to the roach motel in one piece, I will surely let you all know.

Carnival Days

Thanks to Louisiana weather for keeping things interesting at the Bossier City Fair! Yesterday, a storm passed through the area and poured down rain the whole time we were eating at the buffet (courtesy of half an hour played at Harrah's Casino- where I left with 30 more dollars in my pocket). The area where our tent sits just gets flooded every time it rains, so we did the "It's Wet" show... nothing can touch the ground! Water is lava!

At some point in time, the Amazing Chris was talking to a carnie about our adventures at the casino. The guy was talking about how if he saw us there again, he'd see us drinking too. The thing is, neither of us drink alcohol and the guy went into shock.

Oh, no! How could it be? How do we live without meat and alcohol! It's so unnatural!

It's sunny again today, so I'm hoping that the crowds will be huge and responsive.

No pictures today because I haven't taken any in awhile...