Voice Actor Needed

I'm working on a short video and I need a male voice actor to act as the narrator. He can be from anywhere, but needs to be able to speak an American accent and have decent recording abilities. The voice I am looking for needs to be similar to the narrator in this:





or this:




To audition, you must record yourself saying the following:


"When the day's toil is over, are you the type of person who drags his weary body home, slumps into a chair feeling beat or pushed and listless? If so, you need a hobby! Picture! That's it! Photography! For the beginner, a few minor bits of equipment are necessary. With these few inexpensive items, the ardent amateur photographer is ready to pursue his hobby."


And then upload it somewhere (youtube is fine- but make sure it's voice only. I don't wanna look at you!) and then email the link to me at tacosofdoom (at) gmail (dot) com. Make sure the subject says "Voice actor" because I'll ignore it if it doesn't.


Also, if you're wondering, it is NOT an instructional video.

Don't get mad. Get even.

It's been awhile. I haven't had any shows, but I've been working hard on things unrelated to performing. However, I've also been working on new talents- such as juggling and hooping. I was not interested in either at first, but I have ideas... and ideas make the world go 'round, apparently. In a fit of insomnia, I decided to remodel the blog and make it look nicer.

You might be asking yourself, "What does 'maggots and marvels' mean?" I'll tell you. It means absolutely nothing. I just love alliteration. Maggots and marvels seemed like a really good combination of words, too.

For lack of anything new to say or show, here's something old.



I'll have something new soon. I promise. >:D

A simple request: Please nominate me!

Please nominate me to be MTV's first TwitterJockey! Just follow this link: http://tj.mtv.com/open-nomination/ and nominate @cinestress.

Follow me on Twitter, too.

Thank you! I love you!

Off-Tour Butt Glue

I've been off-tour for about two weeks now. Our last show in Dallas, Texas was canceled because of promoter reasons. I'm happy to be off the road for the time being. I'm getting a lot of time to think and do other things that I enjoy that is not possible while on the road. For example, I can finally play World of Warcraft again. In all of the hotels we stayed, the internet was too flaky for game play (and sometimes even just regular browsing).

We did a birthday party show for The Reverend Tommy Gunn's son, which was a lot of fun. I think everyone really enjoyed themselves.

"The Amazing Chris" really needs a new name. We are open to suggestions.

In other news, he built himself a throwing board so he can practice knife-throwing (without me). He also gave me a shiny black and white diamond engagement ring...

So... you know. We're getting married.

As for me, I've been doing a lot of sitting around. Mostly writing and doing other non-show related things. I should really get back on hooping practice, stretching, and juggling... but it seems that my butt is glued to various pieces of furniture.

Demolition Derby Freaks!

Tonight was the second to last night at the Razorback Fair (or is it Ozark Mountain Fair?) in Fayetteville, Arkansas. There was a demolition derby and it brought in our largest crowd yet. It was actually my first time witnessing a demolition derby and I must say it was incredible. The car that I was rooting for (number 42) really held his own and I was convinced that he would win, but after all of his tires blew, he was kind of screwed. One wheel was completely sideways.

We got to do a pre-show for the derby, which was pretty rockin'. It was probably the most responsive crowd we'd had this whole tour (even though most of them were just checking me out).

We did our last show at 10:30 for a huge crowd that loved it. A lot of people came up for stapling (not just little kids this time!) and I proved to be the more popular one as I had several groups of people ask to take pictures with me.

I've been having a great time being on the road and going from fair to fair and I think as soon as I go back "home" (wherever that is, considering I'm practically homeless right now), I'm not going to have a clue what to do with myself. I have a lot of personal work to do, which will be great to accomplish... but I am going to miss this.

Tomorrow is the last day of the fair and then we are off to Dallas, Texas for a huge one day show at the Lakewood Theater. If you're in the area, go there!

Serendipitous Sack Stapling

I'll get to the reason behind the title in a minute.

The four of us have become three, as Miss Malice Aforethought left us to go play around in San Francisco with her son and some FSD cast members that are getting married. We are now in Fayetteville, Arkansas for the Razorback Fair.

EVERYTHING here is a Razorback something or other... and the people here go nuts for the pig races at the fair.

For me, though, it's all about the Banana Derby (seriously, what's better than Capuchin monkeys riding dogs- who are, in fact, all rescues from shelters?).


The fair was supposed to open on Friday, but it was put off until Saturday because the rides began sinking where they were originally placed. Everything had to be moved over night... The carnies really had to bust their balls to get the rides up. Thanks to all of their hard work, the fair opened at noon on Saturday.

The crowds here have been great. Some are brighter than others, but all have been enthusiastic. There are shows every hour at the fairgrounds and there is always something to do and see. If you're nearby, you should check the Razorback Fair out.

Between shows, we have been practicing throwing knives. I improved greatly today. I finally stuck all six knives in the wood- and in the spots where I had been aiming. Maybe soon I will have a new skill to add to my list! I'm also trying for hooping and juggling, but I have a bad habit of dropping hoops and balls.

Anyway, tonight was a bit more interesting than normal. After our third, and final, show of the evening, the owner's spawn came out for some tip stapling. Naturally, they seemed to want to see what else they could staple. About twenty minutes after the show, they came back with $100 and The Reverend Tommy Gunn got to staple his junk... A first for him.

For those of you that are curious, he seems to be in excellent condition and I believe he is out drinking with a bunch of fair workers at some silly country bar. The Amazing Chris and I would have gone, but a bar with country music doesn't really sound appealing since neither of us drink. Nor do we like country music.

If The Reverend Tommy Gunn somehow does not end up coming back to the roach motel in one piece, I will surely let you all know.

Carnival Days

Thanks to Louisiana weather for keeping things interesting at the Bossier City Fair! Yesterday, a storm passed through the area and poured down rain the whole time we were eating at the buffet (courtesy of half an hour played at Harrah's Casino- where I left with 30 more dollars in my pocket). The area where our tent sits just gets flooded every time it rains, so we did the "It's Wet" show... nothing can touch the ground! Water is lava!

At some point in time, the Amazing Chris was talking to a carnie about our adventures at the casino. The guy was talking about how if he saw us there again, he'd see us drinking too. The thing is, neither of us drink alcohol and the guy went into shock.

Oh, no! How could it be? How do we live without meat and alcohol! It's so unnatural!

It's sunny again today, so I'm hoping that the crowds will be huge and responsive.

No pictures today because I haven't taken any in awhile...

Baka Burgers and Pictures

I've been so busy and tired that I've slacked quite a bit on this blog. I'm not going to apologize, though, because I'd rather sleep and be happy than tell you every single detail about the tour (but it probably is more exciting than your life).

While we were in New Orleans, we did a lot of shopping and met up with a friend of a friend, who happens to be a female sword swallower that likes to put confetti in her panties. New Orleans had some great vegetarian food and beautiful architecture. I was half-tempted to move there, but Hannah Bel is really not made for heat.

Now we're in Bossier City, Louisiana.

Before I move on with telling stories about the past few days here, I feel like I should attempt to clarify some terminology for all of the normal people out there that have lived their lives under rocks or in caves.

1.) Vegetarian: A person that does not eat meat. They can eat eggs and drink milk.
2.) Pescatarian: A person that does not eat any meat with the exception of fish.
3.) Vegan: A person that does not eat or use any animal products. They do not use products that are tested on animals.

Miss Malice and I went to get our hair trimmed at a salon in the mall. We asked the young lady doing our hair if she knew of any good vegetarian restaurants around. She didn't, but she asked another woman who was working there if she knew.

This woman said she was a vegan for two years because of "medical reasons" from E. Coli. Whatever. First, she asked me if I ate fish. I patiently said, "No" because I'm getting used to people thinking that fish aren't meat... however strange that is to me. Then she asked if I ate potatoes. What. The. Heck? Potatoes are vegetables! She eventually told me of a restaurant that I had looked up, called Counter Culture that supposedly has good avocado sandwiches.

Then she started telling me how I could be a vegetarian. She said, "You could just eat them Baka burgers from the grocery store because you know how sometimes you just crave meat." I really don't crave meat at all. I liked some meat, but it was never really a big deal to me. Also, the brand is really called Boca, but she pronounced it like the Japanese word for idiot. Enough said.

Anyway, I'm sure the world is absolutely tired of my vegetarian adventures in the deep south...

The Bossier City Fair!
So far, we've packed and unpacked our gear everyday. The first night, on Friday, we had a blowdown and only did one show. The next night, it rained and basically flooded us off our stage. Sunday was decent, but our tent almost blew over while we were preparing to go to bed and whatnot, so we packed up in preparation for a storm that didn't really happen. Today went well, though. It thundered a little bit, but the storm passed us and we only got about four drops of rain. The crowds have been pretty decent-sized and I hope it only gets better and that the weather cooperates. We are all having a blast.

I bought a hoodie with built in washable earbuds today. I think it's the coolest thing ever- even if it's not hoodie weather around here.


After we arrived at the hotel in Bossier City, The Reverend Tommy Gunn decided that grass was 42 times better than driving the bus.


Knife-throwing is awesome. I want to throw knives, but I think the world will be a happier (not necessarily better) place if I don't.


In New Orleans, they shut this whole street down during the day for street performers. It was quite possibly one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. I wish we had taken our props off the bus and performed in the streets of NOLA.


The Amazing Chris and I outside of Marie Laveau's House of Voodoo.


The Rev and Miss Malice with their Hand Grenade that was referenced in several of the shows in Gonzales.

NOLA Brain Fry

I've completely lost track of all dates and times. The Down at the Bayou Fair ended, and we set attendance records. It was a fun show and we met some friendly cops that came to each and every one of our shows. Some local people in Gonzales were friendly, others- not so much (specifically in Wal-Mart). Local Wal-Marts can tell you just about everything you need to know about a town.

We have a few days off, so we're staying at Photographer Ron's place in New Orleans until we have to move on to the next town (which isn't very far away). We've just been hanging out, shopping, and generally having a good time.

I'd tell a story, but I think the sun fried my brain.

I've also been hit with a case of Lazy and cannot for the life of me convince myself to upload recent photos.

Some day in the near future, I will probably post a huge blog entry with just pictures. It will be awesome and everyone will bask in my amazing photography skillz.

Later.

Cowboys, Photographers, Freaks, and Vegetarians... OH MY

So far, my first trip to Lousiana has been awesome. The Reverend Tommy Gunn and Miss Malice are two of the greatest people to be traveling with. Our hotel rooms are nice- with big TVs, microwaves, mini fridges, internet, and of course anoles outside.


(Among the species of Cute)

We've eaten good food and met some cool people. We share a tent with The Rhinestone Ropers, who do a cowboy show. Their show is fun and they are truly great people.



The fair has not been very busy, which is disappointing, but we have put on great shows whether it be for the carnies or for two patrons. Chris has made about $20 in tips and I stabbed my foot with a shard of glass. The bottom of my foot is bruised, but the cut isn't very big. It was an interesting experience. After I jumped on the glass, I felt it go in and I heard the audience go, "Ooooooh" as I went, "Aaaaahh..." and winced. It's just been so humid out that everything is sticky and slippery.

Between shows (sometimes there's more downtime than expected because if there are no people, there is no show), I've taken to practicing hooping. I would like to master hooping around my knees by the end of this week (hopefully sooner). However, the hoop I made is rather large and a little heavy, so I have a bruise the size of a walnut behind my right knee. Cuts and bruises are just a part of the game, though. It's bound to happen every once in awhile... And we have a ton of first aid kits handy.

We are only about an hour away from New Orleans, so a friend of the Rev and Malice took us around the city one night that we finished early. The Jazz Festival was going on, so there were a lot of people wearing fedoras dancing outside buildings playing music. It was pretty cool. We plan on going during the day this week for some shopping.

Chris and I play World of Warcraft, so we have articles of clothing with various WoW logos. Chris decided to wear his WoW shirt into Chili's one night. I looked like I was half-dressed because I was in my costume and my WoW hoodie (you couldn't really see my bottoms). The hostess looked us over and stared at us as we walked in. She said something about helping us and we said we wanted a table. She continued to stare and look us over... I thought maybe we all looked too weird to be seated or something. My concern then flipped as she started spewing WoW nonsense at Chris.

Haha, yeah, yeah. We all play WoW.

But she kept going and going... and would not seat us.

There are two types of WoW players. There are the ones who are obnoxious, lonely, and don't know when to give up and then there are players like Chris and me who do not care. We play the game to play the game... not to socialize and definitely not to meet nerds in Chili's (especially after a show and we're all STARVING).

Anyway, it seems most of my adventures so far have been when we eat. Last night, we went to a Mexican place. This Mexican joint has a vegetarian fajita on the menu. I am a vegetarian. Naturally, it seemed like a good choice. I ordered it, and the waitress said, "Really? It's just vegetables. It has no meat."

Yeah... that's the point...

Then I told her I was a vegetarian and she went into shock.

And to think I almost ordered a burrito without the meat... I probably would have killed her brain.

I understand that in the south, people love their meat and think it is absolutely necessary for a balanced diet... but to have something that says vegetarian on the menu and to not realize that there are people who don't eat meat hurts MY brain. I guess no one's ever ordered it before.

I Invented Sideshow Tour 2010 Begins!

Since this is my first blog entry, I should introduce myself. I am Hannah Bel. I am a sideshow performer currently working with FreakShow Deluxe. I do a variety of things such as walking on broken glass, eating fire, straitjacket escapes, and other exciting and dangerous things. This blog is more to be like a kind of tour diary, not an insight to my personal life. However, things that happen relating to my sideshow life will be written about even if it's not on tour. We shall see where it goes, I suppose.

Anyway, The Reverend Tommy Gunn, Miss Malice Aforethought, Chris (who doesn't have a stage name yet), and I left Dayton, Ohio Wednesday morning. We stopped in Alabama for the night and arrived in Gonzales, Louisiana yesterday. It was a surprisingly quiet drive down- probably because I was exhausted and slept most of the way... and there was only the four of us. Last night we split up to do our own thing.

Chris and I walked down the busy highway in search of fast food. We had picked out Jack in the Box, but as we got there, we noticed a trucker walking up to the drive thru in his cowboy hat. I thought it was hilarious, but then he told us that they had closed the dining room early... and then it wasn't funny anymore. So Chris and I crossed the highway to go to Burger King. I'm not really a fan of the BK, but I tried their veggie burger for the first time and it was delicious. It could have been because I was starving, though.


Malice took over driving for the Rev on the way to Louisiana.


The Rev worked on spooky things while Malice drove the bus.


Chris read up on mentalism and the macabre.

I took pictures, apparently, and forgot to get a crappy MySpace angle of myself.

And now we are going to the fairgrounds to set up the show! Later!